Excited!!! I cry....

Ohhh well, i know i wrote a post..maybe several hours ago...but this post isn't a desperate post though...i'm now in a mixed feeling.... I am going to face my fight...my sparring...my test...my belief...my promise...my hatred...my happiness of taekwondo...everything!!! Sitting here now in my room, i couldn't help but thinking of all the possible outcome for tomorrow. I know this wild imagination will continue the whole night, and that i will ended in a sleepless night.... It always happen to me anyway... before the starting of something that mean a lot to me. This means a lot to me, i had go through few weeks, if not months of training just for today... yeah not kidding...months!!! I went to gym just to strengthen my arms and legs for different purposes. Arms to be able to endure any strong kicks from the oppositions.... Legs, so to strike the opponents, to hunt them down... I am playing catching up all the times in my life...from piano to swimming to basketball, football and then taekwondo... And i really have to make up for my life... Hating to be the one catching up, hating to see myself being led by others.... I always wanted to win!!! That is Caesar!!! Chen Caesar!!!! Last year in the championship, i was too naive to think that i can win...just because i was better than others in my school... I got whacked the whole match... my both arms were blue-blacked. This time, i want to make up for my own stupidity, my own arrogance, my own....pride.... I would not know what will happen tomorrow, i might lose... and once again getting the embarrassing bronze.... but this time...i try...i really try....dad... the very first time i train real hard...suffered lots of pain and tough training.... to win.... I will protect mum... without any harm for sure.... even though i never really put my heart into study, my heart is with taekwondo.... just to protect my beloved one... everyone, from my friends to my family...especially my parents.... I'm fat once, and i hurt so many people back in the past.... now i am skinny, but even so, i would not let anyone to harm my loved one....not again... The memories of my mum got robbed in front of my eyes...once...twice...thrice had make me one that savage to fight!!! to savage sparring sessions.... to wanting to learn everything i can use to protect.... I am a total failure for not being able to help lessen the fear and pain my mum and sis endure back in the past.... now it is already few years past.... I will give back what i learned in all this years.... Protect everyone....that is my promise to my dad....a lifetime promise...