Down, up then fall again....

Today, i got a terrible result for math studies... It was like a slap, no no, should be a few thousands of slap on my face! Rejected, I found my way home alone. I walked slowly without any motivation to catch the possible-coming train, paying no attention and was day dreaming. So, i ended up looking at the train passed by in front of me. It was some sort of my scenario.... not working hard and ended up being a trash...again! I went to the Friday training and thought i needed some whack from my seniors as well as Master Tan. I did get some chopping kick on my face and some kick on my wrest pad. Even my left foot had almost bleed and my right foot's thumb ( correct me if i am wrong) also in pain due to a possible twist or maybe fractured bones. The training before the sparring session drained me up quickly and for a moment, i thought i might not be able to continue it. While sparring with 3 black-belt-seniors, it was great but nothing could be better than sparring with my master ( Master Tan ). He was clearly not giving 100%, probably just 50%, but still i got scared and sometimes unable to dodge his kicks; chopping kicks especially. After Master Tan managed to score, I replied with a smile, and tried to reply with an attempt to score right back; though normally fall flat. Still, just fighting with him made me felt so excited that i truly enjoyed every moment of me getting some whack from him. After i fell over as a result of his chopping kick, i stood back right on and continued and fell again... I knew i stood no chance against him, but that didn't matter. The most important thing was that only against all this guys (senior and master) that i can went all out, that i can had fear, that i can fell down, that i had to adjust my head gear after a chopping kick.... in Chung Hwa? Don't ever think about it. They were simply grinning over each other just because any of them can had a clear kick of me once.... They were simply no fun at all compared to the seniors.... I would rather be beaten into pieces and fall and had to find myself to stand back, than to deal with a bunch of... kid!