2009....goodbye 2008

It is 12am already when i am writing this post, meaning today is the last day of 2008...As I thinking about 2008...It was bitter. Yea, bitter. Everything...except my SAM result, ended in the other way i hope for. Those things...mean a lot for me...but why? Haiz, it is really stupid for me to complain about it all over again right isn't it? Reflecting back....Sparring Competition...was the one i hated myself so so much.That, i guess, should be my last United Sparring Competition for me. Anyway, if i am to really reflecting back every moment that i regret of...that will mean that i will have a sleepless night...or maybe day. Lets talk about now then should i?.... Actually, recently...i just had another mood swing of mine...when i was working... you know...at some point...i felt angry, and frustrated working there...at some point,I hated myself for working there, at some point...I regretted of my decision of working there...I HATE WINDMILL!!!!! T.T I was so helpless....lonely....any negative description...u named it! I losses everything since working in windmill...why? WHY!!!! I try to be nice all the time, but there are times that i could not have anywhere or anyone to go to...and could only save it for myself...i am so heavy heavy....and just when i not smiling anymore...everyone hates me for having another mood swing...You know? It is really hard to do everything on your own. I can't handle my feelings well... I don't know what will happen after tonight...but i hope that I can just get some rest...should be well-deserve...how long? I don't know, really...1 day? 2days? or forever? Haha, it sounds so stupid....so unfair for my family...you know...i heard a song...i think maybe i heard before somewhere...but...suddenly i listen to it...tears flowing out.

Selena - Dreaming of You lyrics

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I'd wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far, all I have are dreams of you
So, I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you(Yes, I do)

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Ahhh...I can't stop dreaming of you
Ahhh...I can't stop dreamin

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said, "I love you; I love you too"

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow, and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming with you endlessly...