Gemini...twins of evil and angel...

My eyes lie....

My mouth curse...

and My MIND BETRAYS!!!

....But then...

My legs support...

My arms that protect...

and lastly MY HEART THAT LOVES...

Evil (eyes, mouth, and mind) vs Angel (legs, arms and heart)....

Whichever side win the fight,

takes control...

And I am just a medium...

of never ending struggle...

between those 2 sides....

A year of changes....

It is me again!!! ;D Oh well...after I have finish writing the random post, I suddenly feel like writing something that is in my mind... 31 August...Not at all a special day...ok it is Merdeka...but end of August last year, I found my first love... sometimes when i think back, it is just sweet and funny...I guess relationship is always like that... In Dec, things changed so much...and sudden...and then of course in Jan...yet another event happened... That...I believed...was the twist of my life...that was a decision that I bravely...or some might say...foolishly took. Now thinking back...how selfish I had been at times... She was hurt pretty badly I guessed... and I had just realized after that...though it was too late...I had to be responsible, I just can't hurt both...I stick with my decision...5 months later...We broke up...I still don't know what was the reason... Selfish was what she said...I guess...what comes around goes around huh? Now, a year have pass...and I am back to the same spot... I know that I have learn a lot...We will never know what might happen seconds later... My friend said that...maybe you should learn how to do things for yourself...and not because of others... I don't know... I have to say...until now...I still don't know who am I? But I guess that is not important isn't it? There is no need anymore for me to say who I need to love isn't it... probably from now on...I should learn to keep those things with me...it has been a taboo now... Who I love...is in my heart...no point saying it out...no point writing it down...and certainly no point making any promise because of it... I will love those who love me...I will protect those I loved...No more promises...no more vows...Action speaks louder than words....

Random

Well...I feel like blogging...but then I have no idea what I should blog about so yea...i guess this should be a rather random post...

Recently I keep thinking what I should do during my mid-semester break (not exactly mid-semester)... this semester is a 10+3 semester...meaning after 10 weeks only we have a break and then continue the last 3 weeks...which in fact, the 3 weeks i guess are exams already anyway...so yea...this is it... That break is more like a study period for us...zzzz...and since i have Bio (100% weightage), Finance (60% at least), Chem and Spanish(no idea...) Most probably I should study during that time...but it will be impossible for me to sit there whole day for 2 weeks to study....no way man...that is the truth, that is the fact...I can't do it...I know myself very very well...so I am thinking of adding little bit of fun...I have ruled out the possibility of going to Sydney with Tuck Wah...That would take a hell lot of about 4 days... Hehe...I was trying to learn to play 1 song or 2...well...when i mean...play...I mean yea...piano... ;) It have been 5 years since I last really play a song...I wonder if that really could happen...thats why i say I want to learn how to play 1 song or 2...not all songs... hehe...oh yea...anyone who has piano sheet...please let me know... I want to ask you if you have a particular song piano sheet haha ;D Please!!!

Well...enough for that...oh yea...My best friend had just made it to the final of a talent show, and won a prize too...haha well...Congratulation Tze Sin!!! I heard that she had stressed a lot because of it too...well well...how pityful wakaka!!! Since she had won something... I guess next gathering dinner is going to be her treat right? Agree? hehe ok it is set then haha!!!

Blue- If You Come Back

C'mon c'mon
Yeah
Can you feel me?
(Baby can you feel me?)
I've got something to say
Check it out
For all this time
I've been lovin' you girl
Oh yes I have
And ever since the day
You left me here alone
I've been trying to find
Oh, the reason why

So if I did
Something wrong
Please tell me
I wanna understand
'Cause I don't want
This love to ever end

And I swear
If you come back
Here's my life
Baby, till the end of time
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Here's my life)
And I swear
I'll keep you right
By my side
'Cause baby
You're the one I want
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Here's my life)
Oh yes you are

I watched you go
You've taken
My heart with you
Oh yes you did
Every time
I tried to reach you
On the phone
Baby you're never there
Girl you're never home

So if I did something wrong
Please tell me
I wanna understand
'Cause I don't want
This love to ever end
No, no, no, no

I swear
If you come back
Here's my life
Baby, till the end of time
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Here's my life)
And I swear
I'll keep you right
By my side
'Cause baby
You're the one I want
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Here's my life)
Oh yes you are

Maybe I didn't know
How to show it
And maybe
I didn't know
What to say
This time
I won't, this time
Then we can
Build our lives
Then we can
Be as one

I swear
If you come back
Here's my life
Baby, till the end of time
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Here's my life)
Oh yeah
And I swear
I'll keep you right
By my side
'Cause baby
You're the one I want
(Come back to me
Come back to me)
Oh yes you are

And I swear
If you come back
Here's my life
Baby, till the end of time
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Here's my life)
Oh yeah
And I swear
I'll keep you right
By my side

Should I? Or should I not?

Yesterday i was asked by a friend...they wanted to move out and they asked me whether or not I was interested... 'No' was my first thought, but of course, I didn't say that, instead I just asked them to keep talking. They told me about the apartment and then about the payment and then about the place where I will be sleeping...In the end, I ended up in their room discussing the plan and the possibilities... It will be cheaper...but should I go for it? I mean....I know these friends well...I have no problem coping with them, I can have a kitchen just for 4 of us....and the apartment...well to be honest looked cool too... But then if it is so wonderful, why am I hesitating then? I was thinking about my friends here...I was thinking about my football...I was thinking about other thing we could have if are to stay in Fenner...so yea...I was in deep thinking throughout the night.

We are not sure yet to move into the place...since they have not contact us...but we have certainly made an enquiry about the apartment and my friends are all desperate about it... I am just thinking that it might be good in a way that I can learn to live in a house...sounds strange? well maybe kinda haha!!! Another factor is that it is near city and so I could practically walk to city centre as it is really close. In other words, it is also quite close to the university too... As I will be having a special place to sleep in the apartment, my share of payment will be much cheaper even is to compared to Fenner(cheapest accommodation of ANU)...zzz but that is not the point...so should I or should I not? Well I have reach a decision that if they get the apartment....I.....will follow....but if they couldn't get it....it all depends on whether they manage to find another place....before Fenner's enquiry of our staying next semester....

This is problematic...but I guess can't be helped then... Let just hope this will be a good experience....

Really sick

Since last Wednesday,all of a sudden i continuously coughing like hell...and my nose were blocked as well...bad flu...everything was so random and all out of sudden...without any notice... All i have done for Wednesday and Thursday was lying on the bed and rest...on Friday...nothing seems to go right yet...keep resting... I need to stay strong...However, just when I constantly bombarding myself with panadols, medicine and water (I am like a water balloon in the end)...On Sunday, while I was preparing my lunch...blood came seeping out...REAL QUICK!!! I was stunned, and when i realized it was my nose, I even more shocked!!! First time ever my nose actually bleed...It had never happened before... It is really that terrible? I wonder that myself in the bathroom...my nose keep having blood dropping out of it...It seems like i just had a fight or something and break my nose... Worse thing was... It was not stopping, I stopped the blood (well i thought i had) but when removed the tissue from my nose...all in a sudden it came flowing out again...ARGGGHHH... It was just terrible... I planned to start study on Wednesday and on that day since I was fallen sick....and until now...My coughing doesn't seems to be having any improvement at all... my nose certainly have stop bleeding (of course I have, if not i would have die of excessive loss of blood)...My flu is not a problem already...but really my coughing is really irritating...even to me now...but it is too hard to hold it off.... I will try to get myself second appointment with the doctor to seek for a solution... This week is whole lot of hell for me...lots of exams and essay and reports coming up...screw them...all coming at the time I am sick...

Thredbo skiing

I went to skiing at Thredbo yesterday and it was really great!!! We had lots of friend going along like Jiaer, Chai Yun, Hong Yun, Yen Fong, Chia Hong, Michael and Ivy. We walked to B&G hall to get to the meeting point with other people and it took us 45 mins!!! Oh yea, not forgetting to mention that we walked at 3.45 am!!!! Haha!!! In Thredbo, we went for few high slopes and wauuu...it was so fun...haha and Ivy and I started challenging for the second highest peak... and woo yea, GREAT!!! Everyone just laughed at someone when anyone fell wahaha!!! Talking about falling off...I fell once....being knocked off balance from behind by a stranger...sigh i though i had escape from him...T.T but overally i guessed everyone really enjoyed it ;) There was a time when I want to challenge the highest peak...and Ivy though very scared at first...in the end followed and took the lift up as well...and she regretted after that... The peak...was 3 times or even 4 times higher than we expected...and when we arrived....we were actually at the peak of the MOUNTAIN!!!! HOLYSHIT!!! I bet Ivy legs had been shaking and constantly asked to go back... Me? Haha...I was scared off too in the end by the steepness of the slope wakaka!!! The very few incidents that i saw people carried back from the mountain with a motor car makes me suspect that this is the killing slope haha ;D Well I didn't go for that slope given that it was about 4 times the distance of the second peak... I just thought that I didn't want to risk myself haha!!! There are too many unfinished business, so yea in the end both of us came crawling back to the ground level with the help of lift haha but then the scenary was beautiful too at the peak...so oh well it was still good despite not playing the slope in the end.... Nevertheless...skiing yesterday was really enjoyable...I am looking forward to the winter next semester and most probably I am not going back to Malaysia in Jun next year...choosing to go for another adventure in Australia or even other nearby country instead...Okay then i guess i better go have my breakfast now...see ya everyone!!!

Soccer No More?

Well... Fenner team losed to John 2 vs 1...well although up against physically dominating John team and still just losed by 1 goal with several highly-debated issues... I had all of a sudden lost the will to play for Fenner...In the whole match I was dominated by that one-head-taller striker...who could easily head the ball for the entire games...though still he didn't scored any in the match...

The fact is I have no more motivation to play for them...Some players either sick or just did not turned up in the match...This had become increasingly frustrating for me... and the fact that soccer really taken up too much of my time also become a real problem too...

Haiz...I have constantly losing concentration in the match, hesitating when going for the ball...everything is just not right...I don't like being the one that causes our team trouble...Although I played the whole match without being substituted this time... I seriously could not forgive myself for not playing more aggressively in that game... Probably the coach was right...Maybe I was really intimitated by the opponent's size... that was why i hesitated that much throughout the match when about to make the tackle...

I just wonder what kind of defender am I if I can't keep a clean sheet for my team... what kind of defender am I ...if I can't even defend my own...relationship...