Deja vu

Haha......we broke up.... Everything is gone...yet...i feel heart pain...but...could not utter a word...I try to scream...but sound refuse to come out...I just feel empty. All in a sudden...I have lose her...i am really angry of myself...I know that it is because of myself that i lose her...i hate myself... Yet...i really do hope this is just a dream...NO...not a dream...should be a nightmare... Back to reality...it is not a dream or a nightmare...it is life...

Thinking back of our memories....it was so sweet...so sweet that i keep missing them...To be honest...Is coming back to Malaysia a wrong move? Well...i guess so...I really really miss her...yet...because of me missing her too much...it causes me to lose her....how irony...

After this 5 months...i can't believe that we actually break up while I am back... Even though i had a similar nightmare before...I truly miss her...but what i can do? I was driving home halfway before i made a U-turn to make a last effort to keep her with me...it all lost...I fail to keep her still...

Why you leave me...? She said,..... Those words keep ringing in my mind...Of course...i keep thinking about it...but why? Why don't just give me a second chance? Well...study...I know i have to respect your decision...i tried all I can to change it...It all fail...

Now...i just want to have a rest... I want to really think of what is my life... At first...Everything in my lives...surrounds her...but now that the core has gone...I need to find myself a new objective... Just like how MU lose Christiano Ronaldo... the team will have to rebuild...so do I.

Let bygone be bygone...sometimes it is much easier said than done... For what i have done for her...I have done it...I personally try to give her so much...but i ended up neglecting other part...and i don't get a second chance to make up for it...I just feel robbed...

Anyway...I understand i have lose her...She has get herself freedom now...no more restriction from me... she can mix with all her friend without worries now...she can enjoy her lives now... for me? It is all too sudden...I still need to adapt... I hope i can still care about her...and i hope she still allow me to care... I hope she won't just kick me out of her lives so quickly... after all...she has started to hide her feeling for few weeks now...while I am still trying my best to comfort her... I knew it...yet I just hope i was wrong...

Everything...happens just like deja vu....